A gentleman whom I respect recently shared some advice about how to provide yourself with your own self-administered CPR.  The story he told happened when he was experiencing what he believed to be a heart attack. Instead of calling 911, he recruited a co-worker to drive him in rush-hour traffic to the hospital. He then started to give himself what he described as “self-help CPR”. He said, and I quote, “I had read about self-CPR and I started to use it to stay conscious.  This is important.  You cough hard every two seconds.  It massages the heart and keeps it beating while you get help.  People with heart attacks have been able to drive themselves to the hospital.  I started doing that even though it hurt my chest; at least pain told me I was still alive.”

It is important to note that when he finally did get to the hospital, it turned out that he was NOT suffering a heart-attack. But it made me wonder, can we really give ourselves “Cough-CPR” to save our lives during a heart attack?

One of the great things about modern technology is you can look up almost anything on the internet.  I went to http://urbanlegends.about.com, to check out this self-CPR idea.  They report that legend of self-help CPR began with a 1999 email that was circulated which stated that you can save your own life during a heart attack by coughing.  About.com experts checked it out with a number of sources and found out that it is NOT an advisable thing to do.  In fact, the American Heart Association specifically states that one should not attempt self-help CPR and that there is no validation of this particular method.  On the contrary, belief in self-help CPR is dangerous because it can lead you to think it is safe to drive yourself to the hospital.

Doctors say that the coughing procedure has only been used in very limited and experimental occasions with patients experiencing some sort of irregular heartbeats.  There are no known cases where a person who was alone survived a heart attack by using Cough-CPR.  In other words, if you experience intense chest pain or other symptoms of a heart attack, don’t cough!  Call 911 and allow the emergency medical system to get you the kind of help you need.

*For more information on heart attacks and how to recognize the symptoms please click on the following links:

• The American Heart Association
• Health Central
• WebMD
• The Mayo Clinic

**For more information about CPR and lifesaving techniques please visit The American Red Cross.

Robin Spang as Wonder Woman

I’d like to introduce you to Robin Spang, our intake paralegal.

Robin and I have known each other for many years.  Robin has become one of the most valuable players on our team.  That’s saying a lot, because we have a team filled with valuable players.

As an intake paralegal, Robin is our front line in receiving inquiries regarding the solutions that we provide in the area of Medicaid, estate protection, VA benefits, and disability planning.  When someone calls Robin, she is authorized to spend unlimited amounts of time assisting them in the discovery of whether or not we are an appropriate solution for the particular burden they are carrying.

We receive a substantial number of professional referrals, and attorneys are a primary source of our business.  Recently I saw that Robin had received a very complimentary e-mail from an attorney who had referred a client to us.  This attorney had sent to me a string of e-mails beginning with a request regarding a Medicaid problem.  The initial request went something like this: “I am inquiring to see if you could help me to decode Medicaid and real estate obligations that I’m dealing with.  If this is an area that you understand, please let me know and I will call and set an appointment.  I need clarity regarding what is legal and what I can do regarding my parents home, assets, and life insurance.  I just need to know what their obligations are.  Thank you.”

The initial attorney responded by telling the prospective client that this was not an area of her practice and she wanted to refer them to Law ElderLaw.  Her client then contacted our firm and spoke with Robin.  I don’t know how long Robin spent with her, but obviously she gave her the right kind of answers and in a way that made her feel that she had received some relief and peace of mind.  She later notified her attorney as follows: “I can’t thank you enough for steering us towards Law ElderLaw.  What an incredible experience to have the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders.  This firm is nothing but helpful and empathetic!  I never thought that sitting down and talking with people from a law firm could be such a pleasant experience.  I’ll be sleeping much better now.  Thanks again.”

Those of us here at Law ElderLaw are very grateful for referrals—and for Robin, who receives those initial calls.  Funny thing is, I never knew that I was working with a woman who could lift “the weight of the world.”  I’m sure glad she’s here!

Thanks, Robin!
Rick

City Slickers is one of my favorite movies.  It is a comedic and philosophical glorification of urban men trying to live out life’s meaning through the machismo of adventure travel.  If you haven’t seen this film for some time, I recommend you take a peek at it during the holidays.

In this 1991 Billy Crystal classic, three friends decide to trade their briefcases for saddle leather to fill the emptiness in their lives.  This film always inspires me to remember to keep my life balanced despite the ever present stresses of productivity, competition, and just plain constantly trying to figure out what’s the best thing to do next.  Actually life is pretty hard, because we don’t have much guidance for how to respond to the ever-changing environment around us.

Many years ago, when my oldest son Adam was about 12, I told him, “I’m sorry to have to admit this, son, but your mother and I try to make the best decisions about you—but the truth is… we’re just making this up as we go along!  You see, we’ve never been here before.”  We all just get swept along in the river of life, and sometimes it’s hard to steer, and to remember what it’s all about.

The movie shows us a midlife crisis dad and husband who is just plain worn out by his job, his life, and his tedium.  He and his wife reach a crisis point where she asks him to leave and “go and find your smile.”  So, he and his two lifelong buddies spend the next two weeks being transformed from New York city slickers into real cowboys who bring in the herd under crisis conditions.  One of the key moments in the movie is when Jack Palance, playing crusty old top hand Curly, tells Billy Crystal that there’s only one thing that’s important in life.  What they learn along the way is that the one thing that makes life worth living may be different for each of us.  For me, I try to live out the Golden Rule, and I find that I’m most satisfied when serving others—but without an occasional “recharge” I can get pretty ornery and my family starts to call me a curmudgeon.  The thing that makes me smile is when, like those city slickers, I get a chance to sit on a fine horse under a big sky—or be with my grandkids.

Nonetheless, there are times that I lose my smile, too—when I get wrapped up into misplaced thinking that my stuff and my position are my foundation in life.  So I want to recommend that you take a moment at the beginning of this New Year and think about where you need to go or what you need to do to find your smile in 2010!

Rick Law finding his smile

The photo above was taken of three ceramic wise men that we purchased about 35 years ago at our church’s Christmas craft sale.  We have always treasured these three wise men ornaments.  This is our first empty-nester Christmas, and we pause to chuckle as we recall our kids arguing over who got to hang the wise guys on the tree.  In fact our attorney daughter, Diana, has annually insisted that she is the one to inherit these wise ones after we have passed away.  Sometimes she tries to take them home with her, even though we’re still here.

For us, Christmas is one of our two high holidays, and these ornaments have me pondering their special message of Christmas.  The dear couple who crafted these ornaments have been dear friends and mentors over the years.  But like all of us, time has passed and these gentle people are now clients of our elder law firm.  For decades they have quietly worked to care for those around them.  In a way, when you saw this couple, it was if you were looking upon the wise men—since their hands were always bearing gifts to enrich those around them.

Well, now they have moved into an assisted living center and they’re not as able to make crafts for an annual sale.  When I recall their lives of overflowing love, charity, and faith, I know that I, too, have been visited by the wise men—wise men who have brought precious gifts to me and to those around me.

May all of us who claim the Christmas Creed act in love, to bless the lives of those around us.  May we be wise men!

Rick

It is a common human paradox that we often treat money from different sources as if it had different value.  For example, money from an inheritance or the lottery is almost always spent on luxuries and frivolous things—it’s typically gone within 18 months.  Money from a bonus is blown on those extras that you feel that you “deserve.”

One source of money seems to be treated as far more valuable than any other source—IRA funds.  In our practice we talk to senior after senior who would rather die than spend their IRA and/or 401(k) money.  When we do estate planning, gift planning, and long-term care planning, we often find that our clients are willing to use almost any other source of money except spending their IRA funds.  Why is that?

The answer is that they spent a lifetime accumulating those funds through their working years.  This money means much more to them than “phony-baloney” capital gains increases in the house that they bought for $30,000 which is now valued at $300,000.  To them, that’s not “real money.”  But there is no question in their minds that the money that’s in their IRA is something that they sweated to accumulate.  Now in their retirement years they don’t want to let that money go.

Like a legendary dragon who safeguards his hoard of treasure against all attackers, our senior citizen clients hoard their IRAs.  We have had many clients tell us with anger in their voices that “they [the IRS] make me take so much money out of my IRA every year!”  They have forgotten why they saved that money in the first place.

Kathy Motley, our Executive VP of Operations, often tells people, “You forgot why you got your IRA!”  She reminds them that they accumulated that money over their working years so that they could spend the money in their retirement years.  The reason to accumulate this money in a tax-deferred manner is so that when they reach their retirement years, they are able to use that money and pay income taxes at a lower rate of taxation.  She goes on to say that they have developed a habit over the years of thinking about this money as “untouchable.”  They have developed a habit of using all other sources of money except their IRAs.

We have to ask our clients what would actually benefit the IRS more—our seniors taking the money out and using it for the things they need?—or forcing their children to take the money out at higher tax rates?  Our clients have seldom considered the fact that if they don’t spend the dollars, it will be spent by their children after paying a higher tax rate.

Of course, there’s always the argument that if the client dies with the IRA, then the child could stretch the benefits of the IRA over a lifetime.  But most of our seniors say to us, “I know my kids could save the money, but they won’t…  They’ll spend it and spend it fast!”

So the question that we have to analyze with our senior citizen clients is this:  who should pay the taxes on the IRA?  Would it be better for them to use their taxable money now, or leave it for their children?  Many of the senior clients that we talk to are people who have already begun to incur sizeable out-of-pocket medical care costs.  There is a substantial deduction for our seniors who must incur large, unreimbursed health care costs.  We try to show them that they’re often much better off using taxable IRA dollars to pay for deductable medical care expenses.  It’s always a better idea to spend tax dollars when you have an offsetting deduction.

So as you think about that IRA—don’t forget why you got it!

Rick Law and Granddaughter Lucy "ringing bells"

Recently,  I experienced that it is far more ‘profitable’ to ring bells for the Salvation Army when you partner up with an enthusiastic four-year-old granddaughter.  Let me tell you the story,  which illustrates some key principles on how to get people to say “yes.”

It was the Saturday before Thanksgiving.  My wife, Rose, my granddaughter Lucy, and I stood by the exit door of a major Chicagoland food store.  We were ringing bells for the Salvation Army, which does charitable work for the distressed and dispossessed.  To put it bluntly, we were like beggars on the street.  It was obvious to us that many people were choosing to treat us as “the invisible.”  They would intentionally avert their eyes from us!

Rose and I knew that if we could get young Lucy involved with the bell ringing, it would certainly help us to fill our bucket.  It did not take long for Lucy to become enthused about asking people for money—and the results were outstanding!

It was fascinating to watch as Lucy implemented her “give me money” strategies.  She whirled, twirled, and danced with enthusiasm while I hummed aloud a Christmas tune.  Every time the exit door opened, she would look people directly in the eye, extend an open hand, and cheerily say, “Happy Holidays!”

I had the pleasure of watching people who would have passed us by… stop.  With Lucy standing in their path and with outstretched hand and cheery greeting—they would pull out a dollar bill or their pocket change.  She would take the money and  put it in the bucket slot.  In fact, she quickly became “Queen of the Bucket.”  She would clearly express her displeasure when anyone tried to skip her hand to put the money directly in the slot.  That was her job!  The photo below shows Lucy with left hand outstretched and right hand and arm covering the top of the bucket and the money slot.  (This is a candid shot!)

Why was Lucy so successful in getting people to do what she wanted?  The answer to that question is  important to each one of us who need to get people to say “yes” to our “ask”:

1.    She was in alignment with one of the key marketing principles highlighted by Robert Cialdini, PhD in his landmark book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion—she got people to like her.  Cialdini refers to ‘liking’ as “the friendly thief.”  We will say yes to those we like.  Lucy is a cheery little girl who presents a familiar and friendly image.  That image triggers a positive association in the eye of the beholder.  Nearly everyone knows and loves, or has been loved by, a happy child.  When they looked at  Lucy, they did not want to disappoint someone that they liked; and

2.    She placed herself in their path while clearly and unmistakably confronting people with a straightforward “ask.”  Her body position and her outstretched hand were the request, and behind her stood a red bucket and her smiling grandparents; and

3.    She never gave up, even when she experienced rejection.  When people ignored her or refused to give her money, she simply pulled herself together and got ready for the door to open again.  Isn’t that just like a child?  They will just keep on asking until they get to ‘yes’ (or your discipline boundary).

What “yeses” do you need to get this week to be more successful in your law practice, your health care community, or your professional practice?  Think about Lucy’s lessons and how they can help you fill your bucket!  Work to make yourself more likeable and to trigger positive associations within your prospect.  Be more direct in asking for what you want and/or a referral.  Finally, don’t give up!  The first ”no” sets you up for the next opportunity.

By the way, this Christmas and holiday season, please give generously to the many charities like the Salvation Army who serve the under-resourced and those who are in great need.

Thanks,
Grandpa Rick

I have to confess that I love home-cooked turkey.  I am crazy about Thanksgiving turkey and the turkey leftovers.  When my wife, Rose, generously offers to send turkey home with our kids, I bar the door.

Yep, I long for Thanksgiving Day, filled with all of the traditional foods and fellowship.  For me, Thanksgiving’s attitude of gratefulness is hard-wired together in my brain with the heavenly aroma of turkey.  Like Ralphie Parker in Jean Shepherd’s A Christmas Story, I love turkey!  Turkey sandwiches, turkey salad, turkey gravy, turkey hash, turkey a la King, and gallons of turkey soup…

– BUT –

The true importance of Thanksgiving is taking the time to tell you how thankful I am for you.  My wish for you is that you experience the Thanksgiving joys of sharing, gratitude, and thankfulness.  J. M. Barrie once said, “God gave us memories so that we might have roses in December.”  Remember your roses today!

My wife, Rose, picked me up from the office the other day.  As usual she asked me, “What did you do today?”  I replied, “Well, honey, let me tell you about the most important moment of my day…

“This afternoon I sat next to a gentleman in his mid 80s who has a diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease.  He was in my office with his wife of many years and a caring adult daughter.  I told him that we  needed to discuss one of the most difficult questions that I have to ask my clients—we needed to talk about feeding tubes, hydration/water, ventilators, and other life-prolonging treatment.

“These things are all the more difficult to deal with when you are looking at a man who has a high probability of being alive, incapable, and subject to the life-and-death decision making of his loved ones.  I took a breath and then looked into his eyes.  He met my gaze, and then I placed my hand over his hand and said, ‘Your family needs to hear from you how you feel about life-prolonging treatment.  I understand that you have been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease.  One of the things that may happen with Parkinson’s is that you may get to the point where you won’t be able to make your own life-and-death decisions.  You may not actually die from Parkinson’s disease—but you have a high probability of dying from a complication of Parkinson’s.  You may get the point where the doctor comes to your family and says that you are unable to make a decision about life support, and they must decide whether or not you should have a feeding tube or hydration or a ventilator.  What do you want your family to do?  Do you want these things?’

“He looked at me, and then he looked at them.  He answered firmly, ‘I do not want that!  Just keep me comfortable.’

“I turned to his wife and his daughter and I asked them if they understood his wishes and if they would be able to make sure that his wishes were respected when other family members show up and insist that ‘we have to do everything we can for Dad!’  They were given a chance to talk, and after that the daughter said, ‘Dad, I am so grateful that I know what you want.  It gives me such peace of mind to be sure about what you would want us to do.’”

Helping clients and their families have peace of mind is one of the most important things that I can do as an elder law estate planning attorney.

What about you?  Dear Reader, does your family have the piece of mind of knowing whether or not you want a feeding tube in the event that you are unable to speak for yourself and have no reasonable chance of recovery?  Please take action over the holidays to have this important conversation with your loved ones.  Then… put it in writing!

Kerry Peck and Diana Law in front of the White House

Here at Law ElderLaw, I like to refer to our team as the ‘Teddy Bear Lawyers.”  On the other hand, my dear friend Kerry Peck is a man who I happily refer to as the “Grizzly Bear Lawyer.” He is at Cook County Courthouse every day that it is open.  Kerry is much more than a great courtroom attorney—he is a wonderful human being!  Recently, my daughter, Attorney Diana Law, wrote the following letter about Mr. Peck:

“Kerry R. Peck is not only an extraordinary attorney, but he is an extraordinary human being.  He and his law firm are known for passionate advocacy, leadership in the legal and civic community, and holistic representation.  The firm Peck Bloom strives to fulfill their motto of “Winning Solutions In and Out of the Courtroom.”

Mr. Peck represents clients who are emotionally drained and vulnerable. They may have just lost a loved one; or received a devastating medical diagnosis; or they are trying to protect the rights of their child with disabilities; or they are embroiled in tumultuous familial conflicts while administering a contested trust or estate.  Despite this, he provides his clients with dignity, unequalled representation, and superb service.  He meets his clients where they are, and he appreciates their need for compassion and empathy.

Mr. Peck is not afraid of hard work, both physically and mentally.  He has a unique ability to take what he has learned from law books and his experience and merge them into a vigorous representation of his clients.

Mr. Peck is a man of impeccable character who inspires me and others to be committed to professionalism and integrity.  As a young elder law attorney who is fortunate enough to call Kerry my mentor, I have turned to him with many questions concerning the interplay between ethics and my clients’ particular needs and circumstances.  He is an amazing sounding board and teacher.  He not only teaches me the correct technical answers, but also how these answers will affect the lives of the people we serve. He constantly opens my eyes to a much bigger picture then I would have seen before.  If we all navigated by his moral compass, we would never lose our way.

Mr. Peck has dedicated his life to serving others and championing the rights of the elderly and persons with disabilities.  He is sought after by our local and state governments to advise judges and legislators on the laws affecting the elderly, including writing the State of Illinois “Elder Abuse and Neglect Act.”

Despite the myriad hours Mr. Peck has clocked to serve his clients and the profession, he makes time to serve the community through civic, charitable, and religious organizations.  The commitment and dedication Mr. Peck demonstrates to bar associations and community organizations is the same commitment and dedication he shows to his family and clients.  I must also mention Mr. Peck’s unparalleled generosity.  He is a man who freely gives of his time, talents, and finances to those who are in need.

Lastly, I have seen Mr. Peck in both personal and professional settings, and I admire the way he speaks to everyone with respect and good humor—whether it is a CEO or a waiter at the restaurant table.”

We highly recommend Kerry Peck, Esq. and the fine legal team of Peck Bloom, when and if you are seeking excellent legal counsel for probate, guardianship, estate planning, or disability planning in Cook County.

Kerry Peck and Diana Law at a NAELA function

Rick Law and granddaughter Lucy with "Biker Chick" Kate

Do you enjoy a chance to act like a kid again?  I sure do!  Recently I received an invitation to a Halloween party at Heritage Woods in Yorkville, Illinois.  My friend, Jane Johnson, is the marketing maven there.  Heritage Woods of Yorkville is a supportive living facility (SLF), more commonly known as an assisted living facility.  Residents of SLFs need a little help from someone with their everyday activities of daily living.

I gathered up my costume and my four-year-old granddaughter Lucy and we headed off for the party.  Lucy was dressed up as Belle, who is better known as the “Beauty” in Walt Disney’s movie Beauty and the Beast.  Lucy was my date for the big party.

Lucy with "Three Grandmas"

When we arrived, we were greeted by the residents, the staff, and families, many of whom were dressed in holiday costumes.  As with most parties, it was lots of fun and there were way too many good things to eat!  Heritage Woods had a whole day of events.  The staff competed in a chili cook-off—the savory recipes were submitted by members of the local police and fire departments.  Not surprisingly, the dietary manager won first place.  (That seems to hint at the idea that the residents eat mighty fine!)  In second place was my friend Jane Johnson, the marketing director.  She had prepared her favorite “white chili with brown turkey” recipe.

First Place winner Joan with the Heritage director of nursing

More than 75 residents ate chili, listened to music, and enjoyed the ice cream sundae bar.  After lunch there was music and even dancing.  All the employees were dressed in costumes.  Norma, who was dressed as “the scarecrow”, was voted first place for staff costumes.  The best resident costume was won by Joan, who was dressed as a witch.  The pictures in this blog tell the story much better than words.

Norma the Heritage Woods Scarecrow

The only thing that surprised me was that many of the residents left the hubbub in mid-afternoon so they could catch a nap and refresh before dinner.  But a great time was had by all!  Thank you, Jane, for inviting me to a fun-filled afternoon at Heritage Woods of Yorkville.